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Apr. 5th, 2012 @ 04:14 am [sticky post] Hey!
Hey! If you want to read this journal, it's FRIENDS ONLY.

So leave me a remark on this post if you'd like to be included in my friends list! :)

I don't bite! Unless you want me to! :)
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cherrie
May. 27th, 2012 @ 12:00 pm My tweets
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cherrie
May. 26th, 2011 @ 03:29 pm Book of Shadows
I will of course have a hard copy Book of Shadows when I can find a notebook that I can keep from the kids. However, I am also going to put a copy of it online, for my reference and for the reference of others on my friends list who might find it handy. Let me know if you want to be on my Book of Shadows list and I will add you on to it. Will contain spells, essays from school (wicccanseminary.edu) and much more.

Remember, if you are not a livejournal friend, you will have to become one in order to see these posts. Just like with my paranormal filter, you have to request to be on my BOS filter as well in order to view it, since I'm certain there are several of you out there who think it's just mumbo jumbo. To me it's not, and to others it's not. So if you want a peek at my BOS from here on out, answer this post and tell me if you want in. If you don't have a livejournal account yet, make one and add me as a friend, and tell me if you want to be a part of my Book of Shadows or Paranormal Journals. I will accept you and add you to both journals. They will be tagged Book of Shadows or Paranormal so you know that they are a special post, and only people who are part of the group will be able to see and comment on them.

I mostly do simple tried and true spells, spells that anyone can do. I may share spells that have been shared with me by others. If this is the case I will note the source of the spell.

This post is temporarily public. I will make it private within a week or so. if you want to comment, you WILL have to create an account. If you make an account to comment to be added, tell me who you are and how I know you, and I will decide from there. Thanks.
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cherrie
May. 10th, 2011 @ 06:31 pm (no subject)
We went to get my new boot for my foot today and when we removed my boot (haven't removed it for awhile) we discovered my foot was quite unusually swollen. Then we were informed that it was because the ace bandage on my leg needed to be wrapped around my FOOT for the fluids in my foot to go down to a semi-normal level. My brace was also too low on my leg. So the guy at the boot place helped wrap my foot and leg correctly. My foot feels much better I admit. Already. I just hope the Doctor doesn't get upset when he sees my foot tomorrow when I go in for a check up. When I saw him last he just wrapped me up and sent me out the door, no instructions on how to wrap it ourselves, and when we took the bandages/brace off for a sponge bath I couldn't remember how the doctor had me wrapped, so we obviously rewrapped incorrectly. :( I was gonna shave my legs tonight for the doctor but now that my foot is all wrapped correctly I'm scared to take the bandage off until the swelling goes down. So I guess I go to the dr with hairy legs. :( Oh well. I shaved not THAT long ago.

It occurs to me that I haven't heard from the lawyer for a couple of weeks. Perhaps it's taking awhile for him to get my medical records. That must be why. I know my old doctor in CA took FOREVER to send medical records, I'm sure the hospital isn't any easier.

I got a new job in Second Life working for a very popular industrial/ebm nightclub. Today was my test shift to see if I fit into their mold, and I passed the test with flying colors! So now I work sat afternoon and early sun morning for them (only applied to work there with a dj who is one of my closest friends in game). First time I've taken a perm shift since I broke my leg. Eddie encouraged me the other night to take some permanent shifts, he felt it would give me something to look forward to. Perhaps he's right. I guess I'll find out.

A friend in SL admitted to me last night that he is only 17 years old (must be 18 to play in most of the "world" in game). He told me all he did was sign up to play and it assumed he was 18 hence why he's been able to play on the Mature lands (I only play on Adult or Mature lands to stay away from teenagers). I kind of let him have it about lying to me about his age, or rather, withholding the information, and he felt bad, but I think I will still continue to be friends with him. He's only got 3 months until he's 18 anyway. Close enough. As long as he doesn't try to flirt with me I'm cool. We share many common interests and he seems smart for his age, so I'll let this one pass. But it makes me wonder how many other players out there are misrepresenting their age (as in not adults). Frightening. Second Life does have a way you have to PROVE you are an adult however in order to go to Adult rated places, so I know I'm safe in those places. Heck, I know adults who can't figure out how to prove their ages to go to Adult places (foreigners mostly that don't understand the process or just don't want to give out the personal information required to prove your age). I try to play only with adult rated players. I suppose though the occasional teenager is gonna work their way in somehow. Kids these days are smart and are able to get around shit that other people wouldn't be able to figure out.

Funny, I met a pakistani in game a week or two ago (at an Adult rated sim) and we began talking....the day we met was the day they killed Bin Laden. He knew I was from Washington State, but clearly misunderstood which WA I was from, because the next day he accused me of partying at the White House with the President.ha. Wrong Washington, buddy. Besides, I can't celebrate another human being's death anyway no matter how awful a person they were. I know I'd probably feel differently if the person hurt/killed someone I loved, but even though I understand this was probably justified, I couldn't celebrate it. Hard to explain. But no, I did not party with the President. heh. I did think the assumption was amusing. Most of my foreign friends are from the UK or Germany, but occasionally I run into someone elsewhere.

Eddie and I stopped at the grocery store today and he wanted me to pick out some food. I've been eating oatmeal with raisins approximately once a day for the last week (except yesterday my meal was 2 pieces of toast) and that is it. Eddie tried to make me my favorite food on Gavin's birthday (pizza!!) but I could barely choke it down. However, breakfast foods sound pleasant, so I got cereal, biscuits and gravy, and breakfast burritos. Now I have food besides oatmeal and toast! Woot!! I was kind of starting to get bored with oatmeal. It's just every time I went to the food bank in the past year they gave me a bag of oatmeal, so we have TONS of oatmeal. I got eddie to buy a huge bag of raisins to go in it. he puts syrup in it to sweeten it. I'm the only one in the house that will eat oatmeal, so I've got enough to last me a really long time. Since I broke my leg for some reason the pain makes it hard to eat, and I can only seem to handle slightly bland foods. So breakfast food it is.

Argh. My boss is supposed to call me, and that was well over an hour ago. I still haven't heard anything. I wonder if she forgot me again. She does that. Gets so involved in her work she forgets about me and MY work. And she's always so busy...she's always there for me if I really need her (for ANYTHING, personal or professional), but some days she just says she's going to call and forgets. Oh well. If I don't hear from her in another hour or two I'll call her again. I need her help with more than just my normal work, I got put on volunteer duty for wiccanseminary.edu as a Data Processor and she's the one who's supposed to give me my instructions. And I assume I need to get the work done before classes start, and one class starts tomorrow. (they hook up people on the web in chat rooms to the classes held in Second Life, so you don't have to be part of Second Life to take part in the classes, you just join the chat room. then the chat room is saved so for those of us like me who tend to miss class can go back and view the lecture in the way it was given).

later on...my boss did call me. work on wiccanseminary.edu won't start until at least Thursday. She says it's going to be a TON of work but it sounds like the ton of work is going to primarily be copying and pasting. I'll probably get a sore wrist but other than maybe my eyes crossing from too much information I should be fine. She says I probably won't have time to work my five SL jobs while I'm working on this project. Oh well. As long as I'm getting real work hours I can hopefully eventually just buy my SL money and not have to "work" for it. I'd rather do that anyway, the amount of SL money I could make from real life work is MUCH more than I make working in game. Boss and I discussed several subjects (we haven't really had a chance to talk in days) where she gave me instructions and ideas on many things I can do for her..plus a little in game behind the scenes top secret info. helps to be friends with people who know what's really going on socially. of course it means more secrets I have to keep, but I do pretty good with that. I prefer to stay out of any drama, and keeping one's mouth shut is one of the best ways to keep out of drama. :)

anyway, I am almost done with my work for today, didn't get many hours in but at least I got several projects finished. More projects to start with tomorrow. Boss is going to have police reports directly mailed to me from now on instead of driving all the way to particular cities to pick them up in person and then mail them to me herself, saving time, giving me more work to do, and allowing me to get the work done faster and more efficiently. Now if I can just find out if I am eligible for an eye exam so I can read the police reports better. That's the main thing slowing me down when I work on them, I have trouble reading them...the other problem is that my hands are too small to reach certain keys on the keyboard (like the all important tab key, i can't reach it and always hit caps lock instead). My fingers aren't gonna get any longer so I need to practice using the arrow keys instead of tab, and hopefully my eyes can get fixed soon.

So off to finish this batch of police reports, turn them in, and go back into game. I'm sure my UK friends are all offline by now, but oh well, I'll see them in the morning. My US and Canadian friends should still be up and about though. For those of you who think I spend too much time on Second Life, just look at how much time everyone spends playing silly ass games on Facebook. It's just as bad. I've pretty much given up on Facebbook--I still update it and add friends and family and all that, and occasionally chat on FB, but I stopped playing the games as they don't interest me anymore. I find the social aspect of SL fun, and the fact that a user in game can create pretty much ANYTHING they can think up in that game fascinates me. So do the live djs in "clubs," which eventually is what I'm going to do. I'd also like to learn how to create hairstyles and sell them. I like how realistic the hair in that game can look (if you spend the money on good quality hair). I'd like to be able to do that and make fun funky hairstyles that look like you can really run your fingers through it. I see hairstyles on TV on pop stars in videos and stuff that I would just LOVE to copy over to the game. My hair is too short in Real Life to have most of these styles, plus in the game you can simply change your hair with one click, so everyday I have a different hairstyle (or at least a different color)--another convenience one doesn't get in Real Life. heh we were just discussing today how cool it would be if in real life we could change our entire outfits in one click or teleport across the world in seconds. I saw an interview with a guy on the Colbert Report a couple of weeks ago who believes that eventually our real lives WILL be just like Second Life. An interesting prediction, I don't see it happening in my lifetime but hey you never know what could be invented. People can already change their entire body and face through surgery or injections, get extensions on their hair that look real (that's what I want but I can't afford such a thing) and computers are becoming more and more powerful and more portable and used in everyday life, for SO many uses. I often wonder about the inventions that are probably top secret that could be life changing for all of us. hell....when i was a kid, my first computer (at 8 years old) used programs run by tape recorder. and it was all in DOS. We've already advanced so much!! I'm excited to see what even the next 20 years will bring us.

Okay. Before I rant more on the possibilities of the future in technology and bore everyone MORE to tears, I'm going to finish my work. Later!
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cherrie
Apr. 16th, 2011 @ 04:34 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Well I really did it this time. April 1st, I went to the food bank. I got a box and a bag of food. the box was rather large. they don't let you take your cart out to your car and lock the door behind you when you leave so you have to haul the whole thing out to your car at once. So, that's what I did. I was parked close to the exit, so it didn't seem like it would be a problem. How wrong I was. As I approached my car I didn't see the curb under the big box I was carrying and tripped over it. I could tell my knee was dislocated after I hit the ground and started yelling for help. I don't yell very loud. However, a couple of guys heard me and came to my aid. They called 911, and put my groceries in the car, and then offered to move my car out of the parking lot because they closed the lot at 1pm and it would be closed all weekend. I gave them my keys and let them move my car. I used my work cellphone (which I carry in case of emergencies) to call my husband to let him know I fell and I was pretty sure I broke my leg. The ambulance came and got me, and I don't remember anything else until I came to after my surgery. HOWEVER, supposedly I called my parents collect from the hospital before the surgery informing them I was about to be operated on and that I fell and I broke my leg. I don't recall doing this but mom insists I did. 40 minutes after I called Eddie one of the doctors to do surgery on me called him and informed him that I was at risk of losing my leg but that they were going to try to save it through surgery. Obviously the damage was much worse than I thought.

Here's what I did. I broke my knee/shin, dislocated my kneecap (they had to put a metal plate and pins in to secure my knee). I tore muscles next to my knee which they tried to put back together but they came apart despite their efforts. However, I'm told this will heal. I severed a major artery and had internal bleeding. I also pulled apart nerves to my right foot so far apart that they ripped apart and will "never" (according to the doctors) come back together and I will never be able to lift my right foot again (though I can now press down with my foot, I will have to wear a brace to pull my foot back up).

My power at my apartment was at risk of going out and I was trying to get help from agencies to turn the power back on. Since Eddie doesn't live here and his name is not on the bill or anything else at this apartment he tried to take over where I left off when I went to the hospital, but my family still lost power and was without for a week. I spent two of those days out of power with them when I was released from the hospital. It wasn't fun. Eddie pushed our two loveseats together in the living room to make a bed where I could put my foot up and he could cuddle close to me for warmth, lit a fire in the fireplace and put the kids on the floor on a ton of blankets in front of the fireplace. we had two candles and one mini flashlight. He could still do laundry since we have a laundry room here so the kids still had clean clothes. He went to the grocery store daily for food for us to eat.

My time spent in the hospital was spent doing physical therapy and laying in bed keeping my foot up. At first they had a catheter in me because I couldn't walk at all but as I eventually learned to use a walker I was awarded with a um...oh crap one of those portable toilets that sits really high up. My first few days I was on a morphine drip. Then they switched me to oxy's and morphine if needed, well until my IVs both plugged up. One nurse near the end was kind enough to put another IV in and gave me four shots of morphine until I finally felt better, but my nurses before that tried giving me a vicodin or something to replace the morphine. definitely not the same.

I spent the first week at home completely laid up. All I had to get around with was a walker borrowed from a local non profit agency. I had a prescription for a wheelchair, but because Child Support Services said I was non-cooperative I lost my insurance the day I fell. However, I DID get my insurance back. I was SUPPOSED to be transferred to a nursing home but I think the lack of insurance pretty much killed that. Since I live up a flight of stairs, I have to slide my butt up and down the stairs to get around. I DID eventually get the wheelchair, with the help of the Presbyterian Church that "adopted" us nearly a year ago (they were also the ones to move my car back home). The lady from the chuch (Nancy) took me to my first followup appt with the surgeon, where I got my staples removed (boy there were A LOT of staples), a brand new leg brace with hinges so I can bend my knee, and my wheelchair paperwork signed for DSHS. We then went and picked up my wheelchair. I talked my doctor into writing me a script for Norcos (10mg) instead of the Oxy's he originally gave me, but I know even those aren't going to last me, so I have to start working again asap so I can get money for Kratom when my Norcos run out. My boss has been super patient with me. When eddie called HIS boss to tell her what happened to me she hung up on him. So we thought he lost his job. However, he's since been informed they just want him to call in every pay period to let them know if he's coming back or not, and meanwhile they have a temp working his hours until he can return. However, I don't know when he'll be able to return because I can't care for myself or the kids. I finally reached the point where I can get on and off the toilet without eddie having to lift me (Nancy bought me a huge fluffy toilet seat cover so the toilet would be taller to help me out there). Getting out of bed is still a major difficulty but I DID pull it off today, even though it took me about fifteen minutes to get into my wheelchair from the bed, I did it! The wheelchair can't get me into the bathroom so I still have to use the walker to go into the bathroom. I need assistance getting my wheelchair out of the bedroom and into the living room. We're trying to quit smoking because I can't drive to Oregon for cigarrettes anymore (they are 4.75 a pack there and almost 8.00 a pack here). In order to assist us with that we smoke outside only now, though I find sometimes I get so lonely being laid up that I go outside to smoke just with the hope of getting to talk to the neighbors.

I started playing Second Life again a couple of days ago, everyone in game said how much they missed me and all are thinking positive thoughts for my healing. I appreciate my online friends providing that support.

I barely kept the internet on when I got out of the hospital (had JUST enough money left) but am facing another disconnection next week. I worry about this because I NEED the internet for my job and clearly I'm the only one who can work right now, unless I am lucky enough to get a caregiver who can help me with the kids while eddie is at work. Considering the fight DSHS put up just to pay 50 bucks a month for a wheelchair I don't expect that getting a caregiver is going to be an easy task. I desperately need one though. I can't cook, I can't even get things out of the fridge for myself (the apartment is just too damn small). The kid's room is too messy for me to go in there and I wouldn't be able to tuck them in at night because I can't bend down to their beds without hurting my knee. I need assistance moving my wheelchair from the living room to my bedroom because the hallway is too narrow, but I'm trying to work on a creative solution to that. Today Deideric pushed me to and from the living room which helped a ton, but I have to learn to do all these things MYSELF. Luckily Deideric is old enough he can help me with some stuff. However Eddie isn't ready for me to become too independent, he worries I will hurt myself again if I try too hard. I don't think I'll ever be able to leave the apartment and come back by myself because even though I can get MYSELF up and down the stairs I can't get my wheelchair up and down the stairs with me, it's too bulky. I can barely handle myself.

People have suggested my mom come and take care of me, but that's just not going to happen. My dad is in school so he can't. My brother definitely won't. My only real friend in this town moved to AZ last month so she can't help me. I definitely feel very alone in all of this. Eddie can help for awhile but he can't do it forever.

The other thing that sucks is this blow to our income means I WON'T be able to move out of longview in June like I'd hoped. Between having to go through treatment for my leg/foot and the lack of income coming in for us, I won't have the money to move anywhere and I'm basically stuck. And next week if I lose my internet, then I'll lose my work and will be even more cut off from the world. Right now we have just enough money to choose between rent and internet. And I HAVE to choose rent. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Anyway I'm going to try to get some hours of work in. Even if it's only a couple of hours it's something. Once I start working my boss will give me more projects to do --I just have to figure out the internet situation, do I just pay it so I can keep my job and hope I get paid in time for rent? Rent is only 91.00, but I don't know if I'll get paid in time to pay it. I'm trying not to think about Easter coming up and Gavin's birthday on the fifth of May too. :( So stressed. Any suggestions would be great. I think I get paid two weeks after the hours I put in, from Sunday to Saturday. I don't have enough work projects right now to make the hours for rent, but I'm sure she'll give me some next week if I ask real nice. I just don't know if it will be in time.

And not to mention I have to find time today to put my foot up in the air, I am supposed to keep my foot above my heart for as long as I can manage to prevent blood clots and promote healing. I've barely been eating (no appetite) but I'm TRYING to force food down. Everything is too spicy for me, I can't even handle the vegetable crackers and hummus eddie got for me, one of my more favorite foods.

anyway, this is the first time I've broken anything so I'm clueless, and the first time I'm facing a wheelchair for at least two months, unable to drive even though I have a car, unable to cook and clean for myself and the kids, and facing permanent disability. I'm sure some of you might have experience in some of these matters, so help would be great. I can't put ANY pressure on my right leg at all. everything else is pretty much okay but you don't realize how much you depend on your leg until it's unusable. :( I'm very lucky that I got to keep my leg, but I still have quite a challenge before me.

Ok. off to the living room to highlight some paperwork before I enter it into the computer for my boss. I can put my foot up out there.

*hugs* and love to all. Sorry I've been so lame about posting. I will try to post more.
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cherrie
Dec. 1st, 2009 @ 09:11 pm (no subject)
Current Music: The Cure - Hey You!!! (Kevorkian 12" Remix)
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cherrie
Jun. 1st, 2009 @ 06:58 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
I just found out today that Zoe, my cat that I loved so dearly (who was like my kid before I had kids) was put down today. She was really sick and suffering, and my friend decided it was finally time to have her put down. I've been crying, I'm angry because this is normally eddie's night off but they are making him work...eddie wants me to just pack the kids in the car, bring my laptop and come to work with him and let the kids sleep in the car while I hang out on the bench outside or just inside the doorway. I'm paranoid of the cops thinking I'm neglecting my children so I probablly wouldn't step foot inside the doorway, if i were to do this at all, but it doesn't seem fair to the kids to make them sleep in the car even if it was for one night. It'd be nice to find a babysitter for the night, but I doubt we'd have any luck there. I don't know what to do. I want to go to work with eddie but for the kids sake I just think it's generally a bad idea. being alone doesn't sound like a grand idea either, but I guess I just have to buck up and deal with it.

To Zoe. I will miss you forever, baby. I remember the day I picked you out, you were the only striped cat in the whole litter and you had those egyptian type eyes. I remember you playing with the jordan almonds at my wedding shower. I remember how Neal and I were determined to make you and your sister (still healthy and alive, thank goodness) cats that could ride in cars but you never got used to it, but we still tried. We'd take you guys up to the cabin at Lake Cushman and you'd catch mice just to play with them. I remember you getting mad and pissing all over our front walkway when Neal started working fulltime, and you stopped after we gave you your very own litterbox. You still used both of them, though. I remember you hogging our bed. Stealing cat toys from the neighbor. And worst of all, I remember having to give you up when I left Neal. Luckily, he didn't get to keep you either, and you went to Johanna with your sister, to a place I knew you'd be loved and cared for. And I've missed you so much all these years and desperately wanted you back but never had the money for a pet deposit to get you back, and you became part of Joh's family, while I got pictures and news of your escapades and progress through life. Then I started to get news of your progression towards death. And it hurts just as badly as if a part of my family has died because you WERE a part of my family. For several years, you were my daughter. You and Cinnamon are probably the closest thing to a daughter that I will ever have. I miss you Zoe baby. You'll always be one of my little girls, to me. No one could ever replace a beautiful, amazing, brilliantly crazy cat like you were. Losing you in the divorce was heartbreak enough, this is even worse. Wherever you are now, I hope you are happy. I hope you have all the catnip and furry mice you desire. You deserve it. I love you.
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cherrie
Apr. 30th, 2009 @ 11:08 am (no subject)
if anyone wants to place an avon order with me (i get fifty percent if you place the order with me right now) email me at glitteropATgmailDOTcom. my website is www.youravon.com/cherriemayer if you want to check out the products! I place my order tomorrow so don't delay! :)
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cherrie